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Roxanne's avatar

Thank you for this post. In my own process of 'getting lost in personal redemption' I watch myself do what seems to be "taking the bait" of political, social, humanitarian outrage, which seems so compelling at the time. Then, what seems to happen is that I "wake up" in a minor way to what I'm doing, what I've done before, what I'll probably do again; I KNOW deeply that that's not the way for me. I feel that in my body. I KNOW IT. I understand that to another, it may look like escaping into unreality, but I know it to be moving back into what's realer than "real."

We have a dear mutual friend who reminds me of a bird - frantically beating his wings in horror and frustration that others can't see what's so obvious to him. So he flaps and flails against even those who, at core, hold the same values he holds. He beats himself bloody in his righteous anger. This is the kind of unhinged, frantic outrage that I recognize in myself in my stupid (stupored) states. The kind of fury that drains me of my true power. It's the RESIST! RESIST! RESIST! until there's nothing left of you! I feel that if there's such a thing as an evil mastermind, this is exactly the path it would have us take.

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